top of page

Somerset Kenny

The following statements & writings were retrieved pursuant to the Freedom of Information Act, Title 5 of the United States Code, section 552, enacted 1966.


Report of Field Agent [REDACTED_REDACTED]. issued [REDACTED] in the year [REDACTED]
Subject: SOMERSET KENNY real name [REDACTED_REDACTED], born on [REDACTED] in the year [REDACTED] , in the township of Fall River

Established residency in the village of Somerset, Mass., in [REDACTED].

At an early age, in psychological batteries covered up as "placement testing" for a "private school", the subject displayed a proficiency in [REDACTED], and as his family was unable to properly guide this "talent"for [REDACTED], he was directed to the instruction and tutelage of one [REDACTED-REDACTED], himself long under the scrutiny of [REDACTED], and spent the next several years honing and shaping this particular skill set, until [REDACTED]  admitted that "there is nothing else I can teach him". Shortly thereafter, a regional coup of [REDACTED] by [REDACTED] caused his family to relocate to [REDACTED]. Less than 3 years later, at the age of 14, the subject's unique talents were made known to [REDACTED -REDACTED], self-appointed leader of [REDACTED], who subsequently offered the subject his first paid [REDACTED], making him one of the youngest, if not THE youngest, to break into the somewhat exclusive ranks of [REDACTED-REDACTED]. Word spread quickly, and the "opportunities" came fast, and a reputation began to grow. This was no doubt greatly enhanced by the [REDACTED] incident at [REDACTED-REDACTED] in the winter of [REDACTED], where he solidified his spot as a "go-to" guy for [REDACTED]
Work continued at a steady pace at the local and regional level for the next few years, until a series of seemingly unconnected events turned things upside down. Following the violent dissolution of [REDACTED-REDACTED], coupled with the subjects' stormy relationship with [REDACTED-REDACTED] (aka "RED CARPET"), a chance meeting in a bar led to an offer of employment with [REDACTED-REDACTED-REDACTED], a major player on a national level, who had just "retired" his previous [REDACTED] for "medical reasons". This also led to un-solicited support from two of the higher-ups in the supply chain, [REDACTED] and [REDACTED], who readily supplied the subject with all the "inventory" needed for the job. This arrangement, while mutually productive, only lasted a few months, as the previous [REDACTED] returned to re-claim his spot, and the subject felt the time was right to strike out on his own, and he returned to put his own "mark" on the local [REDACTED] scene. 
This led to several years of spotty appearances by the subject, including a stretch of several months where he was thought to be out of the country, and suspected of taking assignments in [REDACTED] , as well as [REDACTED]. However, in the spring of [REDACTED],  the subject completely dropped off of the [REDACTED] radar, and remained off-grid for several years. Rumors ran rampant that he had in fact taken work in a rival [REDACTED], and sightings were reported as far away as [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED-REDACTED]. None of these sightings were ever verified, and in all photographs purported to be of the subject the face is obscured by a hood-like covering, similar to those used by [REDACTED-REDACTED].
All sightings and mentions of the subject ceased after [REDACTED],  until May of 2015, when he was reportedly spotted with [REDACTED REDACTED]  and [REDACTED-REDACTED], where they brazenly pulled off a 3-man job at a local comic book store. Apparently, the trio have since been joined by [REDACTED-REDACTED-REDACTED] and [REDACTED-REDACTED], and the group has been spotted displaying their "talents" as far north as Ellijay, Georgia, coupled with the threat of "epic & worldwide" domination. 
All citizens are advised to be alert and vigilant, be watchful of FACEBOOK and TWITTER pages, and dutifully spread the word should this band of [REDACTED-REDACTED-REDACTED-REDACTED] bring their brand of [REDACTED] to your location.
This report issued by & sworn to by:
Field Agent [REDACTED-REDACTED] on the [REDACTED] day of [REDACTED] in the year [REDACTED]

  • Facebook - White Circle
  • Twitter - White Circle
  • YouTube - White Circle
bottom of page